Listen, I would never yuck anyone else's yum. I consider that a crime of extreme rudeness. But I'm puzzled as to what exactly hot cocoa bombs are and why everyone in Lubbock is currently in search of one that they need right this instant.

Are they code for black tar H or something? I can't scroll longer than 30 seconds without seeing a post related to these...things, whatever they are. I'm assuming they're a hollow chocolate ball with something in the middle? Marshmallows? Again, not to yuck a yum, but marshmallows are second only to fondant in being sugar's worst product.

I realize a cursory Google search would answer what exactly the hell these things are and how they operate, but I prefer to remain ignorant. Every day I grow a little closer in spirit to my pop culture icon, Lucille Bluth.

I also never saw Titanic or Avatar (the blue one, not the genius Nickelodeon show). Perhaps I have a contrarian streak that has to come out it tiny passive-aggressive ways?

I'm glad food trends exist, especially when a local person can make a few bucks having fun with them. I cannot, however, mentally separate these things from their popular precursor, the bath bomb. I do not think I could consume one without extreme paranoia that they would empty my guts as efficiently as Epsom salt.

I will say that if anyone makes one with booze in the middle, I am interested.

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