The Stages of Surviving a Lubbock Summer

If you've been around here for longer than 5 minutes, you've had to come to terms with scorching summer heat. In Lubbock, summer is more of an endurance test than it is a season. Every single year, we all go through the same emotional journey as we watch temperatures climb.

This journey began for me yesterday when I looked down at my phone and noticed it was 99 degrees outside.

Here are the totally scientific stages of surviving a Lubbock summer.

Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

Stage One: Optimism

Summer has arrived, and you're feeling pretty good. The kids are out of school. You're busy planning cookouts, pool parties, and summer vacations.

Sure, it's warming up, but hey, that's every summer! It's not that bad yet...

Stage Two: Denial

The temperature begins dangerously flirting with triple digits, but you're still determined to act like everything is normal.

"Better bring a light sweater. Might be chilly on the way to work this morning."

Nope.

"Well, this is better than snow."

Wrong again.

Stage Three: The Car Interior Betrayal

You open the car door after it's been sitting in the sun for less than 20 minutes.

The seat belt has already become a medieval torture device, capable of burning the ever-loving hell out of your side upon entry.

That's no longer a steering wheel. That's a cattle brand.

The air conditioner blows hot the entire way to your destination.

Stage Four: The Search for Shade

You'll park a mile away from the store if it means being shaded by a single tree branch.

Stage Five: Electric Bill Anxiety

The AC is running at full blast constantly.

You consider turning the thermostat up a single degree, but back out at the last moment because you "deserve happiness."

The bill thinks otherwise.

Stage Six: Becoming a Meteorologist

Suddenly, you're spending hours watching weather apps that all seem to disagree with one another.

The entire city walks outside when a single dark cloud appears.

Everyone is doing rain dances.

In vain, that is.

Read More: Why Dippin Dots Remain A Beloved Treat In Lubbock

Stage Seven: Accepting Indoor Plans

Remember how badly you wanted to "fish all summer?"

Those plans are long gone.

You're scheduling activities based on who gets to sit closest to the air conditioning vent.

The grocery store is the only vacation destination in your plans, and even that's a stretch. Maybe you'll just order from the app...

Stage Eight: The Water Bottle Era

You've got one in your car.

Your purse.

Your bed.

The only difference between you and a camel is a checking account.

Stage Nine: Collective Delusion

A cold front comes to town, and temperatures drop to the 80s.

"Oh, sweet Lord! It feels AMAZING outside!"

No, it really doesn't.

You've been brainwashed.

Your perspective is skewed.

Stage Ten: The Countdown

We all begin calculating just how much summer is left.

Nobody knows the exact dates.

They don't matter.

We all just need hope.

Things don't start sounding reasonable until pumpkin spice begins to infiltrate every store and coffee shop.

Stage Eleven: Amnesia

The first cool day of fall arrives, and you simply forget everything you went through all summer long.

You forget the suffering.

The sweat.

The electric bill.

Your car turning into an air fryer.

A few months in, someone asked you if you're ready for summer again, and you say, with full confidence, "I sure am!!"

Just like that, the cycle of summer hell begins anew.

Surviving a Lubbock summer is about adapting to the heat, complaining about it tirelessly, and then somehow missing it when it's gone!

Stay cool this summer, friends! It's going to be a scorcher. Always is!