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On a cold, icy day on the frozen tundra of West Texas, we are always trying to find ways to grab a quick lunch, or some kind of comfort food without braving the elements. The biggest problems with this are time, and money.

With that, let us offer up a solution that keeps you off the roads and safe at lunchtime, while warming your heart and reminding you of the earliest (and broke-est) days of adulthood.

CUP NOODLES.

No, not "Cup OF Noodles", you're saying it wrong. As clearly marked on the sacred cup, it states "Cup Noodles". Get it right, Einstein.

Image: Lance Ballance-Townsquare Media

When you peel back the magic lid, you are greeted with the vision of freeze-dried peas and carrots, on a bed of petrified fiberglass insulation...coated in enough sodium and chemicals to kill a horse.

Image: Lance Ballance-Townsquare Media

The process is simple and perfect for an office urchin like myself. Just peel back the lid, fill the cup with HOT water, and wait 3 minutes. 3 agonizing minutes, waiting on the fairy-tale like transformation which turns this cacophony of toxins into one of the greatest lunch experiences in the history of mankind.

Image: Lance Ballance-Townsquare Media

After taking off the lid, you will need to wait a minute or two, in order to avoid the inevitable 3rd degree burns on your tongue from the steaming liquid and noodles, but after stirring the broth and noodles together...you get the first waft of Noodle Nirvana, and dig in with as much gusto as you would a 22 ounce ribeye.

If you need proof as to the awesomeness of what you just ingested, look no further than the bottom of your empty cup, which now has the residue of Soviet-made yellowcake uranium lining the inside.

Image: Lance Ballance-Townsquare Media

Tell me that doesn't look delicious!

The best part, is you can buy about 10 of them for about the cost of a fast food cheeseburger, and they'll keep until the next nuclear winter. So, they're "desk-friendly".

Your move, Ramen.

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