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I could go on and on about how Disneyland is probably the unhappiest place on earth after my last visit, but I wasn't aware that they actually make you assemble your $6.49 street elote by yourself.

What kind of world are we leaving behind for our children?

The food and drinks are notoriously expensive at Disney parks, but nothing says 'we don't give a s***' like expecting a customer to pay nearly $7 for an ear of corn, a packet of mayo, tajin, parmesan cheese, and nothing to spread it with. Yum! Not to mention, an ear of corn is worth roughly 8 cents, and condiments are basically free in most places. What a steal!

I went to Disneyworld when I was about 21 years old and found the entire place to be the most soul-sucking crap I had ever beheld. If I have to stand in line for 2 hours for a ride that lasts less than 2 minutes after paying $390 for a 3-day pass, you best believe they need to dress up my damn elote for me. Is that too much to ask?

My God. The audacity. Can you imagine? 'Oh, honey, let's try the elote. Something we have never had because we're from Michigan!" Then they're presented with some corn on the cob and a packet of mayo. WTF?

You're much better off visiting anywhere else in the world than a Disney theme park. Your kid would probably be just as happy playing with a stick in the sandbox out back. There's no need to drag them through the hot sun all day while you continuously shush their whining and continuously remind them that the entire trip was FOR THEM.

Put on Beauty and The Beast and take them to Joyland instead. They'll be just as happy, and you won't feel like ripping off your eyelids at the end of the day.

Friggin' assemble-yourself-elote. Smh.

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