Man, this can be some hard country. It's even harder if the bugs around here hate you.

I've been bit or stung by everything on this list. I will rate everything on a one to five scale of how bad the bites hurt. You probably have been bitten by some these, too, so you can use that as a comparison.

I was going to put "Frat Bros" on this annoying pests list, but so far I haven't been bit by one. I'd also like to say that no spiders made this list. Me and spiders are homeys (so far).

  • 1

    Tiny Little Bastard Ants

    Right now, at this very moment, I have no less than five bites from these little punks. They are almost microscopic and can be frequently mistaken for a speck of dust. I grabbed a piece of rope post rainstorm the other night and I was greeted by a good handful of them. They then somehow jumped to other areas of my body over the next half hour. I have bites on both hands, between two fingers, on my knee and ankle.

    These are actually about a 3 out of 5 on the bite scale. It's pretty amazing considering how tiny they are. Plus, it's pretty damn unlikely you'll be bit just once.

  • 2

    Damn Evil Mini Scorpions

    You've probably seen one of these scorpions under a board or even in your house (that's why we have an exterminator now).

    They are a 5 on the bite scale. The sting is almost exactly like that of a wasp, except you feel more of an initial pinch, rather than a prick. I've been bitten twice by these devil spawn. Both times they got me on the back of the arm and it will wake you up, playa! These are very visible under a blacklight if for some reason you're trying to find one.

  • 3

    Jumbo Butthole Mosquitos

    Mosquito bites are just a 2 out of 5 on the bite scale, but the suck factor goes way up as they stay itchy for a while. Most of the other bug bites and sting on this list don't continue to be annoying after the initial injury.

    This year has been an exceptional year for mosquito growth, and every bite leads you to think, "oh damn, now I'm going to get Zika".

  • 4

    Incontinent Pissing Elm Bugs

    The bite of these things is really just a 1 out of 5, but where there's one, there are thousands. We've seen them so proliferous that boards we were using on a build were absolutely soaked due to the bugs kicking back having piss parties between them.

    They are really more annoying than anything else, but it's almost like they like to start chewing on you instead of biting. I think their ultimate goal is really just to piss you off and make you think you're going to get bit by something worse.

  • 5

    Devil From Hell Wasps

    Wasps are pretty much universal, but of the 13+ stings I've got, 13+ of them have been here in Texas. In Texas, we just breed them meaner and more aggressive.

    Close inspection under a microscope reveals that they actually wear tiny spurs so they can really dig in and get traction while they're stinging the sh*t out of you. These fellas are a 5 out of 5 on the painful stings scale.